Biffo Blossoms
Biffo Blossoms episode title card
Season 1, Episode 22
Vital statistics
Air date February 2007
Directed by Glenn Kirkpatrick
Story by Unknown

(possibly Ben Townsend)

Written by Ben Townsend
Storyboard by Ansgar Niebuhr

Tobias Gembalski

Episode guide
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Writing on the Wall Vices and Principles
This episode has been mislabeled on IMDB as "Biffo Blossoms!". The correct name of the episode is "Biffo Blossoms"(without an exclamation mark).

When Vinnie becomes Biffo's new study partner, he's sure life will be terrible. But away from his siblings, Biffo is friendly, intelligent and articulate. Unfortunately, when the other Duckys are around, he reverts to his old ways. Vinnie thinks about quitting as Biffo's partner, but decides with Rocket to help Biffo overcome his affliction. They were successful, until Biffo decides that his old ways were more fun.


The episode opens in Vinnie's bedroom where Vinnie and Rocket are sleeping, with a goat, squid and sea lion at the other end of the top bunk of the bed. Rocket's built in alarm clock goes off for 8:00 AM.

Vinnie: "OK OK I'm getting up!"

He suddenly pops up and his mind starts playing tricks on him, seeing the animals as Duckys, Scuds as the goat, Frankie as the squid and Biffo as the sea lion.

Scuds and Frankie, in Vinnie's mind: "Hey Vinnie"

Biffo, in Vinnie's mind: "Ooo… Vinnie"

Vinnie: "W'argh! Duckys?!"

Rocket: "Where, where?"

Vinnie cleans his eyes and just sees animals.

Vinnie: "(sigh) I must be mistaken"

In the bathroom, Vinnie brushes his teeth and Rocket washes his own fuselage in the shower. Vinnie starts seeing Duckys in the background of the mirror as he gargles.

Scuds and Frankie, in Vinnie's mind: "Hey Vinnie"

Biffo, in Vinnie's mind: "Ooo… Vinnie"

Vinnie: "W'argh! Duckys?!"

Rocket: (He bursts out of the shower) "Where, where?"

Vinnie: "My mistake"

Vinnie enters the kitchen.

Professor Q: "Positronic mornings son, let me print up your skippedy breakfast"

He goes on to his kitchen PC to 3D print out Vinnie's bacon, sausage and egg breakfast.

Vinnie: "Thanks dad"

Vinnie starts seeing Scuds as the bacon strip, Frankie as the sausage and Biffo as the egg.

Scuds and Frankie, in Vinnie's mind: "Hey Vinnie"

The Biffo egg enlarges and takes up the whole plate.

Biffo, in Vinnie's mind: "Ooo… Vinnie"

Vinnie then tosses the plate and rests against the kitchen counter.

Vinnie: "Duckys?! Duckys everywhere? I've gone Ducky crazy insane! Dad, you gotta help me"

Vinnie then sees Professor Q as Frankie, Crystal as Scuds and Rocket as Biffo.

Frankie, in Vinnie's mind: (Professor Q turns around to Vinnie) "Hey Vinnie"

Scuds, in Vinnie's mind: "Hey Vinnie"

Biffo, in Vinnie's mind: "Ooo… Vinnie"

Vinnie: (Prof Q, Crystal and Rocket approach him) "Aaarrrgghh! Duckys!"

Vinnie takes the jug of orange juice behind him, pours it over his head and the 3 of them morph back to their real selves.

Professor Q: "Son?"

Crystal: "Bro?"

Rocket: "V-Man?"

Vinnie: "(sigh) That's better"

At school…

Vinnie: "Rocket, I see Duckys everywhere, watching me, harassing me, I can't escape!"

Rocket: "V-Man, you need to super-seriously chill! It's just your mind playing head tricks on you, it's not real"

The real Duckys then come up to Vinnie at his desk.

Scuds and Frankie: "Hey Vinnie"

Biffo: "Ooo… Vinnie"

Vinnie: (touches Scuds' belly and Scuds moves his head forward) "W'argh!" (he dashes up to Rocket's nosecone, opens it and tries to hide inside) "Real Duckys! Hide me Rocket… ow… j-… d-c-… erm…"

Scuds and Frankie: "We know!"

Biffo: "Nnnn… we-know"

V.P. Stern: "Hip it down class, it's time to partner up for The Big Maridebatathon, dig! (he holds up a blue and orange pie chart) Now, this maridebatathon counts for 99.99% of your final grade, so you and your partner must be hiply close, cooly compatible and must work digly well together. (He gets off from his chair and walks up to the students) So Gabby, you're with Rainbow. And Vinnie, you're with Scuds."

Vinnie: (he swallows then grabs on to Stern's coat and drags behind him) "V.P. Stern, you must have made some sort of terrible mistake!"

V.P. Stern: "Ohh yes, sorry Vincent, you're quite right. You're with, Biffo."

Biffo: "Hnnn… Perfect."

Scuds: (He grabs Vinnie by his right side) "C'loser, we need your help"

Frankie: "See, Biffo's failing a few classes, YEAH STINKIN' ALL OF THEM!"

Scuds: "And it's kinda super important that he gets an A in the maridebatathon"

Frankie: "And if he doesn't, it'll be all your fault, and we'll wedgie you into WEDGE OBLIVION!"

Other students(extras): (gasps)

The Duckys walk away, Biffo wedgies Vinnie along the way, and Rocket comes into the shot.

Rocket: "All in your mind"

In the school library, Vinnie is seen sitting on a pile of books and talking to Rocket.

Vinnie: "Biffo can barely even talk! There's no way we can win that maridebatathon. The Duckys will wedgie me into wedge oblivion for sure…"

Rocket: "Cheer up V, maybe they forgot all about it!"

The Duckys then appear in the scene from nowhere.

Frankie: "Remember what we said Vinnie, An A or a WEDGE OBLIVION!"

Other students(extras): (gasps)

Scuds and Frankie walk away leaving Biffo with Vinnie and Rocket.

Rocket: "Apparently not."

Vinnie: "Um… listen Biffo, we haven't always seen eye to eye"

Rocket: "Mainly because V's underpants are usually yanked up over his head"

Vinnie: "But if we're gonna be maridebatathon partners, we have to be close, compatible and work well together. So, what do you say? Study buddies?"

Biffo: "Mmmm… Absoulutely Vincent, I wholeheartedly super agree"

Vinnie, discreetly to Rocket: "Rocket, my mind's playing more head tricks on me, it sounded like Biffo just… spoke!"

Rocket: "Snap it V, I have the same major mind malfunction"

Rocket then hits his grabber against his fuselage near his right eye, blanking both eyes and screws can be seen falling out near his left eye.

Biffo: "Come on teammates, let's get down to work, we got a may to earn" (he then hugs Vinnie and Rocket)

Vinnie: "um… sure"

Rocket: "Whatever you say"

Vinnie can be seen sitting on a book on the table, he shows Biffo a book and encourages him to read. In the next shot, Biffo massages Vinnie's head and in the shot after that, Biffo is seen wearing glasses that resemble Professor Q's, he closes a book and is suddenly another one falls in front of him, then the camera zooms out to reveal Vinnie and Rocket each holding piles of books. In the next fantasy shot, Biffo, Vinnie and Rocket go up stairs made of piles of books, and a book frisbee is thrown. Vinnie catches it, and throws it to Biffo who opens it and Vinnie points out stuff in the book. Back at the library desk, Vinnie and Rocket gives thumbs ups and Biffo smiles, then they leave the library laughing.

Biffo: "Good work studybuds, Why don't we celebrate our studiousness with a Squid Shake?"

Vinnie: "Sure thing"

Rocket: "You got it V!"

Rocket knocks Biffo and Vinnie into his driver console and flies off to Joe's.

Vinnie: "A Squid Shake please Maya, and 1 for my good friend Biffo Ducky"

Joe's regulars(extras): (gasps)

Vinnie: (he hands a takeaway cup to Biffo) "Here you go Biffo buddy pal megamind"

Scuds and Frankie approach Biffo which causes him to return to his bully self, so he takes the cup and plonks it on Vinnie's head, and wedgies him.

Vinnie: "Oh… D'ow!"

Biffo: "Nnnn… c'loser."

Biffo, Scuds and Frankie: (laughing)

In Vinnie's room at home, Rocket washes him down.

Vinnie: "I don't get it! At the library Biffo was careless, talkative, loquacious, and chatty"

Rocket: (He sprays water at Vinnie) "But the second we got to Joe's, he has his ultra low talking super wedging self!"

Vinnie: "We're gonna fail that maridebatathon for sure! And the Duckys will wedgie me into wedge oblivion! If only there was some way we could make Biffo friendly again"

Rocket: "There's only 1 way to make sure someone's friendly to you McV… (he pulls out a squid with a bow tie on it from behind his back) Pride them with a squid!"

Vinnie: (the squid jumps out from Rocket's claws and cling onto Vinnie's head) "Um… OK"

Vinnie then knocks on the door of the Ducky house…

Vinnie: "Umm… Hi Biffo, I got you this friendship squid"

and tries to give Biffo the squid,

Biffo: "Thanks Vinnie, that's astonishingly amicable of you"

but Frankie intervenes, putting him back to his bully self and he stuffs the squid in Vinnie's mouth.

Frankie: "Vinnie, WHAT DO YOU WANT?"

Biffo: "Mmmm… squid"

At Joe's, Vinnie, Rocket and the squid share a drink and finish it.

Vinnie: "Any more ideas how to make friends?"

Captain O'Cheese: "I always write my friends a poem"

Vinnie: "Um… OK"

Rocket: "Worth a try!"

Vinnie and Rocket pull outside Biffo's bedroom window while he cleans his tomatoes and tells him the poem.

Vinnie: "Hey Biffo, I wrote you a friendship poem…

Oh Biffo,
though you are a Ducky,
giver of the A1 turbo wedgie,
look inside your heart and unlock it,

'cause I'm Vinnie Q and I got a Rocket!"

Biffo: "Fantastically poetic, wonderly rightful, stunningly amicable"

Again, Scuds and Frankie come into view, putting Biffo back to his bully self.

Biffo: "Nnnn… nye"

The Duckys throw tomatoes at Vinnie's face, and the camera pans to Farmer Organicwheat's farm for a suggestion from him.

Farmer Organicwheat: "I always bakes my cows a cake!"

The camera pans to the school cafeteria, where Biffo is seen eating fried chicken, and Vinnie wheels in a large cake.

Vinnie: "Hey Biffo, I baked you a friendship cake"

Rocket: (He pops out of the cake) "Getta! Hey there super-pal-mate-friend-amigo-buddy!"

Biffo: "Mmmm… Cakefully tastetastic, friendly frosted, check out all that, baked goodness"

Scuds: "What do you have there bro?"

Biffo: "Mmm…cake."

Biffo plonks the cake on Vinnie's head, and the camera pans to a street for a suggestion from the Silent Ninja.

Silent Ninja: He walks, runs and suddenly hugs another Silent Ninja.

The camera pans to the park, where Biffo is seen walking down a path and Vinnie and Rocket suddenly hug him, yelling "Friendship hug!", then Frankie suddenly intervenes…

Frankie: "Hey Biffo…"

…causing Biffo to wedgie Vinnie…

Biffo: "Mmm…wedgie."

Vinnie: "Oh-w-er-a-e-chi-chi-chi"

Frankie: (giggles)

and after she walks away, Biffo pulls the underwear off Vinnie's head.

Biffo: "Uh… sorry about that Vinnie"

Vinnie: "I don't get it Biffo! We've done everything we can to get your friendship!"

Rocket: "(He pulls out the squid from earlier) We've given you friendship squids, (He pulls out the friendship poem from earlier) wrote friendship poems, (He pulls out a slice of the "friendship cake" from earlier) baked friendship cakes, (He wraps 2 of his grabbers around his fuselage) assaulted you with friendship hugs"

Vinnie: "One moment you're nice to us, then the next you're no-good-lowdown-wedgieing Ducky ways! Now we're gonna fail the maridebatathon (He lets his head fall on Biffo's belly and then walks up to the camera) and I'll get wedgied to wedge oblivion"

Other students(extras): (gasps)

Biffo: "Sorry Vinnie, I wanna be nice it's just, whenever I get around my brother and sister I get, I get tugged on and then all frustrated and blocked and then I have to… Mmmm…wedgie." (He goes ahead and wedgies Vinnie again)

Vinnie: "Uoh-uh-wer-chi-chi-chi"

Rocket: "OK then we'll just leave you to it!" (He then gravitates away from Biffo and Vinnie)

Vinnie: "No Rocket! (Rocket gravitates back) We're not gonna turn our back on Biffo. We wanted his friendship and the only way to get it is to earn it… We're gonna help Biffo get over his fear. We're gonna help Biffo overcome his frustration. We're gonna get that A! So Biffo, what do you say?"

(Scuds and Frankie appear in the shot from nowhere)

Biffo: "Mmmm…wedgie." (He wedgies Vinnie again)

Vinnie: "Uoh-woooh… this may take some time…"

At home, Biffo and Vinnie pose for a photo but instead of pulling out a camera, Rocket pull out a photo of Scuds and Frankie, causing Biffo to wedgie Vinnie. The two of them then can be seen shaking hands and Vinnie gives Biffo a stick of chewing gum. Rocket waves his hand puppets of Scuds and Frankie, causing Biffo to do it again. Biffo and Vinnie can then be seen playing a 2-player shooter game on Rocket's secondary onboard commuter, and when Biffo loses, he does it yet again. Last but not least, Rocket and Vinnie are seen dressed up as Scuds and Frankie respectively.

Vinnie: "OK Biffo, this is the final test. You can do it, so come on, talk to me."

Biffo: "Mmmm…mmmm…hmmm…ee…llll…ooo…Vinnie and…Rocket, how are you doing today?"

Vinnie and Rocket: "I think he's got it. I think he's got it!" (they take off their costume and throw them in the air)

Biffo: "To the maridebatathon! V.P. Stern's got an A with our names on it!"

Vinnie: "Let's jet!"

And with that command, Rocket grabs Biffo and Vinnie and drops him into his console…

Rocket: "You got it V-Man! Q-minus 3…2…1…blastoff!"

…and flies off. In the school hall…

Gabby: "…and that's why this house believes a badger could never outrun a platypus"

Spectators: (yawn)

V.P. Stern: "Hiply convincing argument Gabby… We will now hear from the maridebatathon opposition. Vincent Q and Biffo Ducky! (Biffo, Vinnie and Rocket crash through the roof) Ha-a-a-wow!"

Vinnie: (He gets up on the podium, still in his flight suit) (clears throat) "There are many reasons why our learn it colleagues are incorrect, but they can be best expressed by my friend Biffo Ducky."

Biffo is seen on stage with a surprised face, then Rocket knocks him onto the podium. He gets up with a nervous face, and Scuds and Frankie exert their anger and punches their hands.

Biffo: "Ennn…nnnn…ennn…The badger, genus meles meles, is a cousin of the stoke tan weasel. (Frankie and Scuds' jaws drop) It's powerful front claws allow it to travel at rates of up to 135.7 ft … metabolic rate of the platypus severely limits its stifling speed … that's why this house believes that a badger will always, always outrun a platypus"

And after that long speech, Frankie and Scuds are seen with blank faces, then the crowd cheers, making both of them smile at each other, and Vinnie, Biffo and Rocket are seen together again on stage and V.P. Stern walks up to them.

V.P. Stern: "Diggingly persuasive argument Vinnie and Biffo, congratulations. You've got an A!"

Vinnie, Biffo and Rocket do a 3-way handshake.

Vinnie: "We did it! We overcame Biffo's frustration… We beat his fear! We've helped him talk…"

Scuds and Frankie then appear on the stage.

Scuds: "Good job c'loser,"

Frankie: "You've escaped wedge oblivion… FOR NOW…"

Spectators: (sigh of relief)

Scuds: "Come on bro, let's go"

Vinnie: (He grabs Biffo's arm) "Wait. It was good, being your maridebatathon partner Biffo…"

Biffo: "Errr…friendship-wedgie"

Vinnie: "Ooooo-owwww…"

And on that sad note, the episode ends.


Number of times Biffo wedgied Vinnie in this episode: ?


  1. For the first few scenes of the episode where Vinnie's mind plays tricks on him and when the Duckys come up to him in class, the clips of the Duckys saying "Hey Vinnie" and "Ooo… Vinnie" as well as Vinnie going "W'argh! Duckys?!" could have been recycled for efficiency and/or cost reasons, so that the voice actors could save a few seconds.